Most of you reading this, are reading it because you were directed to do so by my status.
Facebook is just too much of a distraction and it's a problem in our society. As it is convenient to talk to more people, faster, it erases any personal relationship you have with people that you would have if you told them in a bit more of a personal way. If that makes any sense.
So i am currently a college Freshman at Eastern Arizona College, and I am double majoring in Theatre Arts and Journalistic communications.
Right now, is very very stressful and i'm just holding on by the skin of my teeth.
Thinking about joining the army... maybe the Army reserves... what are your guys thoughts on this?
I've written many songs lately. SO now i have 3 finished guitar songs and 2 piano songs! I am so excited... I REALLY want to work on a demo!
Well, more to come later..
Love you all.
-dez
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Things Change
Everything happens for a reason. At least, that's what I used to tell myself.
I have many times been called naive or gullible. This is because I believe things for face value. If you say something, I figure you mean it. If you do something, it's intentional. I believed that people wouldn't harm or do wrong to me. Well, I am very naive. People can and will do wrong to me. People will lie, cheat and steal to gain a personal advantage. People will break promises if they aren't convenient. People will say sorry to try to erase mistakes.
Boy, do I hate the words, "I'm sorry" if you are really sorry about something, use some common sense and don't do that thing to begin with. Yes, I know that some things just happen and you don't know it hurts or offends someone, and in those cases sorry is a very appropriate word. But if you do something that is so clearly not ok, that you know you need to hide.. don't go saying sorry when you get found out because you aren't sorry.
People don't say what they mean. People are more concerned with what is in it for themselves.
People are selfish beings.
The End.
I have many times been called naive or gullible. This is because I believe things for face value. If you say something, I figure you mean it. If you do something, it's intentional. I believed that people wouldn't harm or do wrong to me. Well, I am very naive. People can and will do wrong to me. People will lie, cheat and steal to gain a personal advantage. People will break promises if they aren't convenient. People will say sorry to try to erase mistakes.
Boy, do I hate the words, "I'm sorry" if you are really sorry about something, use some common sense and don't do that thing to begin with. Yes, I know that some things just happen and you don't know it hurts or offends someone, and in those cases sorry is a very appropriate word. But if you do something that is so clearly not ok, that you know you need to hide.. don't go saying sorry when you get found out because you aren't sorry.
People don't say what they mean. People are more concerned with what is in it for themselves.
People are selfish beings.
The End.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
My Man took me on a Bike :)
My boyfriend has had his buddies bike the last two nights and i got to go riding on it with him :)
if you read my blog a few months back, you know how much i like bikes! :) here is a picture of us and our awesomeness!
if you read my blog a few months back, you know how much i like bikes! :) here is a picture of us and our awesomeness!
isn't he such a stud?!
Home for the Holidays
I am now in Mesa, AZ for a while. It snowed my last night in Thatcher, so the not so cold weather here is rather refreshing.
I had a Sister day with Ashleigh at the mall and finished all my Christmas shopping. :) can't wait for Christmas!
gunna go partying tonight, which will be super super fun! :) i need to unwind!
I did very well this semester. i got great grades.
I also am moving into my own apartment! I am super excited about that! :)
going to dinner with family right now!
I had a Sister day with Ashleigh at the mall and finished all my Christmas shopping. :) can't wait for Christmas!
gunna go partying tonight, which will be super super fun! :) i need to unwind!
I did very well this semester. i got great grades.
I also am moving into my own apartment! I am super excited about that! :)
going to dinner with family right now!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
stupid dream.
I have been having a lot of issues sleeping lately. I either can't sleep, or have nightmares.
Last night I had a nightmare unlike most others though.
I had a dream that I was in a dream. I was married to a guy that I didn't know more that skin deep and I was pretending to be happy for all these people that expected that out of me because he was the "picture perfect" guy, but inside I was absolutely torn up and distraught about it.
Well, I woke up (inside my dream) and went to have lunch with my best friend. I told her about my horrible dream and she told me as sweetly and as understanding as one could that that is what happened in real life... suddenly we were sitting in my house and I saw all our wedding pictures and home decor and photo albums of our "life" together. I just started screaming from sheer terror that anyone in my life who supposedly cared about me would let me marry someone that i didn't even know. that i didn't even communicate with at all!! I took all the pictures in frames threw them so the glass shattered everywhere. I started ripping all the pictures out of the wedding album and tearing them into as many pieces as possible. I was so upset.
My "husband" came home from work and started asking what was wrong. I just yelled at him for allowing me to get married to him. for him to go along with it and encourage it. We weren't in love and we shouldn't be married. this is isn't what life is about. he understood completely and didn't want to be married either but knew it is what the "picture perfect" world wanted so he grinned and bared it. I told him it was SO wrong for two humans to live like this. I had dreams. I had goals and he allowed everyone to force me to marry him and take it all away from me!
It ended with me burning the house down.
I have been in a bad mood all day. It was vivid and horrible. It really shook me up. That one isn't even as bad as most of the other nightmares that I have been having. However, that one really just hit home...
I hope I have a better dream tomorrow. I hate this feeling that I am feeling.
Last night I had a nightmare unlike most others though.
I had a dream that I was in a dream. I was married to a guy that I didn't know more that skin deep and I was pretending to be happy for all these people that expected that out of me because he was the "picture perfect" guy, but inside I was absolutely torn up and distraught about it.
Well, I woke up (inside my dream) and went to have lunch with my best friend. I told her about my horrible dream and she told me as sweetly and as understanding as one could that that is what happened in real life... suddenly we were sitting in my house and I saw all our wedding pictures and home decor and photo albums of our "life" together. I just started screaming from sheer terror that anyone in my life who supposedly cared about me would let me marry someone that i didn't even know. that i didn't even communicate with at all!! I took all the pictures in frames threw them so the glass shattered everywhere. I started ripping all the pictures out of the wedding album and tearing them into as many pieces as possible. I was so upset.
My "husband" came home from work and started asking what was wrong. I just yelled at him for allowing me to get married to him. for him to go along with it and encourage it. We weren't in love and we shouldn't be married. this is isn't what life is about. he understood completely and didn't want to be married either but knew it is what the "picture perfect" world wanted so he grinned and bared it. I told him it was SO wrong for two humans to live like this. I had dreams. I had goals and he allowed everyone to force me to marry him and take it all away from me!
It ended with me burning the house down.
I have been in a bad mood all day. It was vivid and horrible. It really shook me up. That one isn't even as bad as most of the other nightmares that I have been having. However, that one really just hit home...
I hope I have a better dream tomorrow. I hate this feeling that I am feeling.
Friday, November 26, 2010
not so pleasantly confused
Life is so confusing sometimes. You want one thing then when you get it you realize you never really wanted it. or you really dislike something and so you try to get it out of your life, and then you realize that all along you really loved that something.
We ask ourselves, Where is the happy medium? And I really wish I had the answer to that. I want something but at the same time i don't want that something. It's what they say about brothers, "Can't live with em, can't live without em."
And this apathy thing! It makes life soooo much easier! Being apathetic gives you much more of an advantage over the rest of society. Feelings are so taxing and when you learn to focus that energy elsewhere because of the lack of feeling. You aren't impaired by the feeling of pain that others are effected by.
We ask ourselves, Where is the happy medium? And I really wish I had the answer to that. I want something but at the same time i don't want that something. It's what they say about brothers, "Can't live with em, can't live without em."
And this apathy thing! It makes life soooo much easier! Being apathetic gives you much more of an advantage over the rest of society. Feelings are so taxing and when you learn to focus that energy elsewhere because of the lack of feeling. You aren't impaired by the feeling of pain that others are effected by.
Friday, November 19, 2010
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