Life is so confusing sometimes. You want one thing then when you get it you realize you never really wanted it. or you really dislike something and so you try to get it out of your life, and then you realize that all along you really loved that something.
We ask ourselves, Where is the happy medium? And I really wish I had the answer to that. I want something but at the same time i don't want that something. It's what they say about brothers, "Can't live with em, can't live without em."
And this apathy thing! It makes life soooo much easier! Being apathetic gives you much more of an advantage over the rest of society. Feelings are so taxing and when you learn to focus that energy elsewhere because of the lack of feeling. You aren't impaired by the feeling of pain that others are effected by.
I think that humans are pretty contrary creatures. We busy ourselves looking for imperfections, which always exist, so that we sometimes (often?) miss more important things. My friend may criticize my hair color, so naturally I defend it, seeing her flawed reasoning, then later on, in another light, I realize she may have been right. Or I buy the car of my choice, MY choice, then sometimes gripe about how low it rides, instead of being thankful every moment that it is cute and gas-efficient. It is humanly hard to be happy for an extended period of time, unless we are filled with really righteous feelings like gratitude and tenderness! Absence usually makes the heart grow fonder, yet all I have to do is go home to sweet Salt Lake to remember all of the inconveniences and challenges I have to deal with there. Hard to think of them when I'm home in AZ.
ReplyDeleteApathy. You have a point. It is kind of DEAD, but relatively painless. When you invest in anything, you give it the power to disappoint you, as well as to delight you. Sometimes, full of hope, we over-invest in something of small value. Other times we neglect the work it takes to discover really deep values. Still other times, we are impulsive, rather than patient . . . The hope is that we will mature into patience, cheerful hope and faith, rather than give up into apathy.
I am personally VERY well acquainted with ALL of the faults listed above (and many others!) I most regret the times my judgments were critical and shallow because I was only thinking of my comfort, and rejecting opportunities for growth. In all things there is the devil's way and the Lord's way. But when we are right in the middle, it is sometimes hard to realize where His hand is, in our lives. It has to do with the human contrary narcissism that we all are born with!
I know that Heavenly Father is rooting for us, but I also suspect that he has a much better sense of humor than we do. I mean, He gives us so much to overcome, He knows the answers, and then He allows us to figure it out for ourselves, with a little help along the way. I suppose He shakes his head and chuckles at us from time to time!
Down to the here and now: Of course, I want you to be happy every moment of your life -- except that is ridiculous. You would be an idiot who didn't become strong and precious by overcoming challenges and growing strong and refined into pure gold, so to speak.
AAhhh well, philosophizing is too much easier than action, and it's time for me to take some action. I hope I will see you before I leave tomorrow for Utah.
May you be blessed with patience instead of apathy, and read the Guidebook well and often, so that you will recognize some of the better routes when you come upon them.
Love you forever!
Gma W.